Our experts in wildlife talk of the African big five animals. It is a league comprising the five most vicious and massive animals in the African jungle. They are the African bush elephant, the lion, the leopard, the African buffalo and the black rhinoceros. These animals happen to be the most difficult to hunt on foot.
Several of our National Parks, among them Majete and Liwonde, have the big five. Local as well as foreign tourist would be well advised to visit these parks and experience the pure joy of spotting these animals.
Experts in Organisational Behaviour have their own big five. These are the most commonly found personality traits that define people’s personalities. The big five traits are openness to experience, extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness and neuroticism (or emotional stability). The personality of every one of us will have some degree of each of these big five. If you are conscientious, you are the type of person who pays careful attention to detail. You are, so to speak, a person who ensures that every “i” is dotted and every “t” crossed.
Searching within the Malawian social landscape, one finds a uniquely Malawian league of big five. The remainder of this article will be dedicated to describing these Malawian big five.
The first of the Malawian big five is mutu waukulu (the great headache). This is an ailment that torments many Malawians. It is sometimes called migraine. Mutu waukulu dwarfs all other headaches a person may suffer from. From what I know, mutu waukulu has no cure but can only be treated with drugs that offer temporary relief.
Our traditional healers used to claim that they could treat mutu waukulu by cutting a blood vessel to or from the head and letting the “contaminated” blood ooze out to give the sufferer some relief. I cannot vouch for this process, but what I know is that traditional healers claim all manner of things, most of which are no more than figments of the imagination.
Secondly, we have big man wamkulu. This is a more modern phrase, referring to a well to do man in society. If you are addressed by this phrase, it is a sign of respect, although sometimes it is used by those who want to defraud their target. Telling somebody something they would want to hear is a way of making them soft. All men should therefore beware of those who call them big man wamkulu.
Next we have fodya wamkulu (the great tobacco). This is no tobacco at all. The only thing that relates it to tobacco is that parts of both plants are burned and the smoke inhaled for the supposed enjoyment of the smoker. Otherwise the two are different plant species.
Fodya wamkulu has many names even in English. In his hit song titled “Legalise It”, former Wailer Peter Tosh says, “Some call it tampee, some call it the weed, some call it marijuana and some call it tampee.”
Although Malawi has legalised the growing and processing of industrial hemp, a strand of Cannabis sativa, the other strand of this plant species, which is fodya wamkulu, remains an illegal substance.
The major difference between industrial hemp and fodya wamkulu lies in the content of an element known as tetrahydrocannibol (THC). The content of THC in fodya wamkulu is up to 20%, making the substance psychoactive. By contrast, in industrial hemp THC content is a meagre 1%, which is why this plant cannot make anyone high. Universally, fodya wamkulu is used for recreational purposes, illegally so in Malawi and in many other countries.
The fourth big is chifuwa chachikulu (the big cough). This is a term used in reference to a disease known as tuberclosis (TB). It is a condition nobody should have. Although it is curable, it is so debelitating that those who suffer from it and recover become very weak. Many weeks on a good diet are required for such people to regain their former strenth and vitality. This is how big this big cough is.
To crown it all, we have gule wamkulu (the great dance). This is a dance of the Chewa people. It is characterised by masked dancers. Some gule wamkulu dancers are mimcs of animals. The cow, the elephant, the lion and the antelope are some of the charaters that are featured in gule wamkulu dancing ceremonies.
Gule wamkulu characters are regarded as beasts (zirombo). It is possible to have the big five within gule wamkulu. I am too unqualified to suggest which would be in the big five but I know that some characters only grace important functions such as the installation of a chief.